ITW n°94: Ninon - Daughter of K fighter.
Hello,
loved ones also have their say on the blog, today the beautiful Ninon, 22 years old, tells us about the fight she led with a lot of love by accompanying "her reason for living" her mother Véronique, who fought a K of the ovary. Today Véronique is in remission, Ninon gives us a moving testimony of sincerity and maturity, that of a girl full of love, who experienced the Cancer of both her parents simultaneously... because her father was also fighting at this same period. His father and mother are both in remission now, another beautiful testimony full of hope and resilience, which opens the way to a sweeter life, so much deserved.
Great discovery.
Let's get started:
Who are you ?
First name: Ninon
Age: 22 years old
Profession: Law student
Where do you live: La Rochelle
Why do you agree to share your story today?
For my parents, especially my mom. For the trials we went through with them and my brother. I also do it for all the people who are currently fighting the illness, who have just been told the news and for all the loved ones who are in my situation.
What are your qualities (in a few words)?
I am attentive, helpful, attentive.
What are your passions (in a few words)?
Stand-up paddleboarding!
What bond unites you with Véronique:
My mom, my reason for living!
Can you summarize your story for us (announcement / under what circumstances)?
I was 20 years old at the time, I had just started the school year when on September 18, 2014 my 52-year-old mother was diagnosed with stage III C ovarian cancer, 2 months later it was my mother's turn. father, colon cancer metastasized to the brain (they are divorced, I'm going to talk about my mom here...).
Very big shock concerning my mother, I was alone at home in Lille, she was in La Rochelle and entered the emergency room for a stomach which was only swelling, ascites, this great friend!! I collapsed on the ground and cried for days... And then everything started quickly, mom's quick return to the North, the appointments, the chemo... it's off to a start. months of treatments! We will get there!!!
What K did Véronique have:
Ovarian cancer stage III C.
What treatments did she have?
chemo: if you know: name of cocktails
Mom was not operable, she started with 3 sessions of chemo with, it seems to me, Carboplatin – taxol. She responded very well to the chemo with very few side effects, we were very lucky, they were able to operate on her after 3 courses when 6 were planned.
After the operation she had the remaining 3.
radiotherapy: if you know:
No, no radiotherapy.
operation if you know:
Total hysterectomy, cures, resection of the small intestine... She left for the operating room at 9 a.m., we heard from her around 6 p.m. and we were only able to see her around 7/8 p.m. It happened at the Oscar Lambret hospital in Lille, which I recommend to all patients!
What was your feeling/point of view as a loved one when the announcement was made?
Hard, when I heard the news I thought she was already dead...
What are the “nugget”/feeling phrases that someone said to him or/and to you during the K and which could have been avoided? or that you yourself should have avoided ;)..?
I remember a saleswoman in a store in Lille who had my mother in front of her paying for her items (with her wig, which had just come out of chemo a few days earlier) and who said to us “alala j 'I've had a terrible cold for a few days, I feel so bad!' Honestly, I wanted to get angry...
Your questions, your fears, the sentences you would have liked to ask but which you did not dare to mention..?
The fear is and will always be the same as the day of the announcement... I'm afraid of losing her. I'm totally addicted to her, it's fusional. We know that ovarian cancer comes back in 80% of cases, so I just hope it leaves us behind as long as possible!
What are you doing to change Véronique's ideas, were you able to find the right words, activities to change her mind?
I came back to live with her in La Rochelle, I think that the fact that I am with her every day helps her a lot morally. We go for walks by the sea, we go on vacation, we watch films... Very simple, stupid things but which become so essential, pleasant and authentic after illness!
I don't always have the right words, because even if I imagine and understand his pain, his fears, I didn't have this damn cancer myself...
How was your life in the medical profession? Did you find the answers you were looking for, did you manage to understand everything?
Great, Mom's oncologist and surgeon were amazing and so “human”.
Absolutely perfect nurses!!! I can't thank them enough for everything they did for her... THANK YOU THANK YOU for saving her...
Has this same medical body been there for you too, to support you, answer all your questions?
Yes!
Did you accompany Véronique to:
- his doctors' appointments?
- his chemos
- others ?
Yes, I accompanied mom from start to finish. I especially wanted to be there for the chemo treatments which lasted a whole day.
What was your first feeling when you first met the treatments (chemotherapy/hospital)?
Very good, everything went incredibly well for her. The staff at the Oscar Lambret hospital are perfect, once again... and their skills too!
I will always remember the first chemo! Stress, apprehension, tears... but no side effects for mom other than enormous fatigue! The treatment went really well.
How did you deal with Véronique's mood swings?
We deal with it, we accept, we understand and we move forward!
Did you get information on the internet?
Yes, big mistake! The first days after the announcement I spent my time on it... My mother should have been dead a long time ago. To be avoided, really!!
If so, what would be the useful (internet) links that helped you give you strength, and those to recommend to relatives of K fighters or to K fighters?
A Facebook group for ovarian cancer patients and loved ones. Otherwise, you should only listen to the doctors!
What were your good plans to take your mind off things, get some fresh air, and recharge your batteries?
What are your best resources?
To be with her! Running, looking at the sea... Taking stock by yourself feels good.
I was also able to count on a few people to take my mind off things, but overall my “friends” weren't there, I think cancer is already scary, but then two...
What did you tell yourself to go the distance / what did you do?
That miracles exist, that we have competent doctors in France who know their job...
Were you able to have an “Almost” normal life, seeing your friends/relatives?
I've lost a lot of friends who actually weren't friends! I focused on my mother, on my father too and I don't regret it today. Cancer has changed my outlook on life, positively.
In your daily life, were you able to escape from the “illness” to move forward and be productive?
How can I put it... I was productive during my illness! Cancer is part of his life, of mine, and you have to live with it. I have progressed a lot since then.
Were you able to talk freely about it to your loved ones? Did you feel supported/supported/understood?
Very little presence in these moments... We realize that in the end others continue to think that it only happens to others! But otherwise people who are very close to me did not disappoint me and supported me.
What do you think you did wrong, or said? What reaction do you regret?
None, I had to react sometimes, but I listened and I still do.
What advice would you give to other loved ones to arm themselves with strength?
That we must believe in medicine! That you have to give lots of love to the sick person. That cancer hurts, but sometimes the story ends well...
What tips directly related to K do you want to share?
Examples/lived experiences:
1/ chemo:
You have to eat good things throughout the treatment... even when you're not hungry!
2/ hospital:
Let's go there peacefully! They know what they're doing.
Your list of essentials for support in the hospital or during chemotherapy:
Having your daughter with you!! Not without laughing, a book, a tablet, music... Honestly, mom ate McDonald's during chemo... haha!
What practical tips can you recommend to us, from your daily life and yours?
1/ beauty:
Mom had a pretty wig and several colorful hats, she didn't really like scarves which looked too sick on her.
Continue to take care of yourself, and especially use lots of moisturizer!
2/ look:
It's important to take care of dressing... but also to make yourself comfortable! She bought several pretty cool sweatpants for the house.
3/ daily
Keep living and laughing!
4/ food (do you prepare good dishes for him)
I'm pretty good at mc drive...haha! We often slept with my grandparents who cooked lots of little dishes for him!
Today, I'm the one having fun with my family!
Did you know what to offer/bring to….., to give him your support, and feel useful?
Big hugs, kisses... I massaged his feet, his head! I brought her fruit and ice cream, she loves it, especially Mc Flurry!! haha
Has the K War changed your vision of Véronique?
Not really, I already knew that my mother was an incredibly strong and courageous woman! She's still beautiful, I just take care of her a lot more.
What has the K changed in your life...?
Cancer has completely changed my outlook on life, today I know what really matters. I came back to live with my mom and it's one of the best choices of my life! I know today that the simplest moments are actually the most pleasant and important moments.
My friends are gone and I wish them never to have to go through this ordeal.
Free field ;)
tell us what you want (which might not be in my questions):
Today my parents are in remission! Everyone is more or less well, I hope that time stops at this moment...
I wish good luck and a lot of strength to those who are going through the difficult times of the illness... I think very much of them! One day someone will have the magic cure... I'm sure of it!!
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Thank you Ninon, for this beautiful testimony full of love!
You can leave comments for Ninon, below.
If like her, you want to tell your story as a loved one, your projects and share your tips, go here , send me your questionnaire and 1 photo of yourself so that I can draw you ;) to: interview@mister-k-fighting- kit.com
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NEVER GIVE UP!!
Charlotte
