ITW n°9: Christine K fighter.
Hello Christine,
First of all, thank you very much for agreeing to share your K's story,
Let's get started:
Who are you ?
First name: Christine
Age: 57 years old
Profession: administrative assistant and self-employed as a public writer
Where do you live: Brive
What K did you get?
Right colon cancer: T3/N2
When was it discovered?
01/12/2010
How old were you ?
52 years
Under what circumstances was it discovered?
Blood test following fatigue attributed to temporary depression.
It must be said in my doctor's defense that I never complain. He couldn't guess !
Can you summarize your K fighter story for us ?
It happened very quickly... January 2010 , my doctor ordered a blood test because he found me depressed. For some time this condition has been attributed to personal problems that I was going through.
01/11/2010: results of the assessment 6.8 g of hemoglobin. My doctor doesn't understand how I can still stand.
01/12/2010: Hospitalization for blood transfusions.
01/14/2010: echoes, fibro, colo, oh oh…
It's been there, in the right colon , nice and warm for almost five years apparently. …everything is explained…
Re-blood transfusions and on 02/02/2010 operation to remove the cuckoo that was nesting in me, and 30 cms of intestines at the same time... the deception had spread.
It must be said that he was cunning because I never felt any pain, nor saw the slightest bleeding. He was calm. A little more he would have had me...
April 2010: start of chemo until October 2010 (12 sessions)
If you are currently undergoing treatment, or in remission (for how long?)
I don't know if I'm in remission. I was told that it has now become a chronic illness...the oncologist didn't tell me about remission during my last visit. It must be said that I did not ask him. I have check-ups every 6 months. (scans, blood tests and oncologist).
This month I'm having my check-up, just to see if " hello " hasn't come back...
What treatment did you have?
chemo: if you have had it: name of the cocktails
12 good glasses of folfox
operation if you have had one (how long were you hospitalized):
about 15 days
What tips directly related to K do you want to share (your feeling with the doctor, your good plans for organizing treatment, anything that seems useful to you ;))?
1/ chemo: your affinities with nurses
I have good memories of it. I made it at home. On Tuesday the nurse came and it happened in the living room (especially not in the bedroom). Then while waiting for the first products to have finished, we sat on the terrace with a good coffee (before the nausea) and she told me about her life. We reverse the roles.
How did you live the day before, the same day, the days after?
and what were your tips?
Very stressed the day before. So I isolated myself in my head, telling myself that it was just a bad moment to go through, that everything has an end, even bad things, and that I would laugh about it one day.
The same day, I said to myself: on track for the quadrille. There are no questions to ask, it is like this and not otherwise. When you have to go, you have to go
The days after: a mess but super annoyed because I couldn't do as usual... that's where the famous one also came in: come on in a year you'll laugh about it...
What did you do to clear your mind/clear your head (before chemo, surgery & co)?
The sessions were every 15 days, so I had a week at low tide then came the week at high tide. Although I had doubted it at low tide, I kept telling myself that the tide was going to rise again the following week...and it always rose again, so I held on.
At high tide, I went to the garden, my paradise. During that week, everything happened: gardening, re-wallpapering the house, and above all writing. It was my cancer that made me discover this…and it’s huge.
I finished a novel I started years ago. I sent it to a competition. It was taken and published on behalf of a publisher.
I trained as a public writer by correspondence. What a joy to do homework, to receive your grades, to wonder why you waited so long to find yourself. But to find yourself, you still have to look for yourself!! At my age you obviously spent more time taking care of your children than yourself. So no chance of finding…
What practical tips can you advise us?
1/ look, your favorite look chemo, hospital, every day to feel good / shopping
Um, I'm not much of a looker, for me it's just an accessory.
2/ daily (sport, food & co)
The “trick” that works for me:
Nature CDs. Be careful, no music, pure nature.
I played the sound of the waves, the storm and the rain on repeat.
It's simply magical, like my garden. Being so close to nature, in perfect harmony, helps put things into perspective.
Imagine: lying on the sofa, the phone unplugged, the sound of the waves lulling me... there is nothing better... and then we say to ourselves: who are you, the cuckoo who came to nest in my house? Who do you think you are? Have you seen yourself facing the violence of the sea and the storms? You are ridiculous...and you don't scare me...
What are the nugget phrases (that you remember) that someone said to you during K and that you could have avoided?
I was told that my chemo wasn't very strong since I hadn't lost my hair...
And I felt like an orphan: no legitimacy to wear a scarf or a turban and at the same time hair like tow because we still lose a good third of it...
Neither on one side nor the other
How did your loved ones support you?
When I told him I had cancer, my friend replied: so what? It’s not your cancer, it’s ours….
there is nothing to add
And what advice could you give to loved ones who accompany a K fighter?
Force him to talk, get to the bottom of things. Chemotherapy, for example, destroys the libido, we must talk about it and not wait for the suffering to set in. We didn't talk about it, and we both suffered, me from this loss of desire, he from my detachment for these things that I now found useless and painful.
I want to reassure: this is happening...
What would be the useful (internet) links that helped you during K?
I discovered Rose magazine quite late and it helped me because I found there the answers to so many questions I had…
What has the K changed in your life…?
ALL. He changed everything...
People don’t do “that” to me anymore…
I have become very lucid and they no longer make me swallow snakes.
I did a big spring cleaning of my family and friends.
I created my own business.
I finished my novel.
I write short stories and win competitions (yesss)
As for my main job, well, take it or leave it. I was already not easy but now it's even more difficult to deceive myself.
Free field ;) tell us what you want:
Just saying I need to talk about it. This is not trivial. We come out different, certainly stronger. This cancer is a part of me forever. He could have killed me and he made me reborn...
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I strongly invite you to follow Christine's public writer site: http://www.cb-ecrivain-public.fr/
Thank you again for your testimony and for sharing your K/tips ;)
Lots of sweet positive thoughts
See you soon
Charlotte
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Hello Christine,
First of all thank you heaps for accepting to share the history of your K, that's very brave and generous of you ☺
Let's start:
Who are you?
Name: Christine
Age: 57 years old
Job: account manager and freelance writer
Where do you live: Brive
Would you briefly tell us your history as (K fighter)?
It all happened very fast…in January 2010, my doctor prescribed me a blood test because he found me depressed. For some time we put this state at the expense of personal problems which I crossed.
11/01/2010: Results of the blood test 6.8 g of haemoglobin. There my doctor doesn't understand how I still stand.
01/12/2010: Hospitalization for blood transfusions.
01/14/2010: Echoes, fibro, coliescopy, oh oh…
Here it is, in the colon straight ahead, cozy in here, and apparently has been there for the last five years. Everything makes sense now…
Blood transfusions again and on 02/02/2010 operation to remove the cuckoo which nested in me, and 30 cms of intestines at the same time the deceitful had spread.
It is necessary to say that he was tricky because I have never felt any pain, or seen the slightest bleeding. He was quiet. A little bit more and he would have gotten me…
April 2010: beginning of Chemo until October 2010 (12 sessions)
Which type of K (the cancer grade/stage, if you feel like )?
Cancer of the right colon: Grade 3/Stage 2
When were you diagnosed with cancer?
01/12/2010
How old were you ?
52 years old
Under what circumstances was it diagnosed ?
Blood test due to a big fatigue that we thought were due to a temporary depression.
I should for the discharge of my doctor, I never complain. He couldn't guess!
Are you under treatment or in remission (since when?)
I don't know if I am in remission. I was told that now it became a chronic disease the oncologist did not speak to me in remission during my last visit. It is necessary to say that I did not ask him. I have checks every 6 months. (Scanners, blood test and oncologist).
This month I will do my coliescopy check-up to make sure that the “little men” haven’t come back…
Which kind of treatment did you undergo?
Chemo, if that is the case: : name of the cocktails
12 good sessions of folfox
surgery, if that is the case (how long have you been hospitalized for ) :
Around 15 days
Is there any trick related with K that you would like to share with us? (your connection with your doctor, your treatment schedule, anything you think is useful ;))?
1/ chemo: the connection with nurses,
I keep a good memory. I had it at home. On Tuesdays the nurse came and it took place in the lounge (especially not in the room). Then until the first products crossed, we settled down on the terrace, with a good coffee (before the nausea) and she told me her life. We reversed the roles.
How did you feel the day before, the day of the session and the following days?
And did you have any tricks?
Very stressed the day before. Then I isolated myself in my head by telling me that it was only a hard moment to get through, that all good things must come to an end, even the bad things and that I would laugh at it one day
That very day, I said to myself: in track for it. There are no questions to ask oneself, it is so and not otherwise. A man's gotta do what a man's gotta do
Days according to: a rag but very annoyed because I could not make as usual it is there that also intervened the famous: in one year you will laugh at it …
What did you do to take your mind off / clear your mind (before chemo sessions, surgeries & co)?
The sessions being every 15 days, I had one week in low tide then came the week to high tide. Whatever I had it doubted in low tide, I repeated that the tide was going to go back up next week and it went back up, always, then I stood firm.
In high tide, I went to the garden, my paradise. During this week, everything crossed there, to garden, to redo the wallpapers of the house, and especially to write. It is my cancer which made me discover that and it is enormous.
I finished a nove that I had begun several years ago. I feel it to be a competition. It was taken and published in publisher's editor's.
I did public letter-writer's training course by correspondence. What a happiness to do some homework, to receive grades, wonder why I had waited for so long to find myself. But to find ourselves you need to look! At my age you have spent more time taking care of your kids then of yourself. So no time to find yourself…
Is there any practical trick you can advise us?
1/ beauty: nail polish/ magic moisturizers / scars & co
Well I am not very keen on looks, I am more into accessories.
2/ look: your fav outfit for chemo, hospital, everyday look that makes you feel fine / shopping
3/ everyday life (sport, food & co)
The “thing” which works for me:
Natural CD. Watch out, no music, the pure nature.
I played on a loop the noise of waves, thunderstorm and rain.
It is simply magic, as my garden. Be so close to the nature, in perfect harmony helps to put in perspective.
Imagine: stretched out on the sofa, the disconnected telephone, the noise of the waves which rocks me there is nothing better and there, we say ourselves: who are you the “little men” which came to nest in my home? Who do you think you are? You saw yourself in front of the violence of the sea and the storms? You are ridiculous and you do not frighten me…
Has anyone ever told you any tactless blunder during your K that could have been avoided?
I was told that my chemo was not very strong because I hadn't lost my hair…
And I felt orphan: no legitimacy to wear a scarf or a turban and at the same time hair as tow because we still lose all a good third …
Neither on one side, nor of the other one
How did your loved ones support you?
When I told him I had cancer, he answered: And? It isn't your cancer but Our cancer…Nothing to add.
Is there any piece of advice you would share with the family members of a K fighter?
Force him to speak, to go to the bottom of things. The chemo, for example, cancels the libido, it is necessary to speak about it and not to wait that the suffering settles down. We did not speak about it, and we suffered both, me of this loss of desire, him of my detachment for these things which I found from now useless and painful.
I want to reassure: it passes…
Is there any useful website that helped you out during your K?
I discovered Rose Magazine very late and it helped because i found answers to all the questions i had.
Did K change your life … ?
EVERYTHING. It changed everything..
We don’t “get to me” anymore…
I became very lucid and we do not gull me anymore of grass-snakes.
I made a spring cleaning at the level of my family and at the level of my friends.
I created my own freelance company.
I ended my novel.
I write news and I win competitions (yesss)
As for my main work, well, take it or leave it. I was not already easy but now it is even more difficult to roll me in flour.
Now it 's up to you ;)
Tell us what you feel like (something that maybe I didn't ask you):
Just to say that I need to talk about it. It is not nothing. You become different, stronger. This cancer is now a part of me forever. He could have killed me but made me stronger.
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Thanks again for your testimony and for sharing your K/tricks ;)
Stay positive!
See you soon
Charlotte
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