ITW n°86: Oriane - K fighter.
Hello,
Today I present to you, the sweet "kind & funny" Oriane, 32 years old, author of the dramatic comedy "Cellule de Crise" , who tells us with great purity her battle against a K of the Breast (left), fought in 2008, in remission for 8 years now (oh yeah)!
According to Oriane, with great wisdom and accuracy , “Cancer is not just an illness. It is a question about the future.”
I invite you to discover his story and if you live in the region of the land of cicadas, and you would like to discover his piece , meet on December 3 in Aix en Provence,
Here is the summary of the piece: “Imagine three women, three childhood friends, three versions of life. Jeanne loves charlotte, the cake. She has a minister's schedule. Louise feeds all the neighborhood cats and purrs like them when her lover calls her on the phone. Emma has cancer. So. It's like that. As brutal as that. And now what do we do? Well we live. Because life is now!”
Great discovery.
Let's get started:
Who are you ?
My name is Oriane, I am 32 years old. I am a sex therapist, couples therapist and author, director. I live with my boyfriend in Aix en Provence, PACA
Why do you agree to share your story today?
I realized that I had already shared my story, but not yet in a pure, simple and unadorned way. And today, I finally allow myself to...
What are your qualities (in a few words)?
I like to think that I am caring, empathetic and funny !
What are your passions (in a few words)?
I am passionate about theater; see it, play it and write it! I love telling stories! I am also transported when I listen to music. Amy McDonald and her single “this is the life” accompanied me throughout my cancer!
What K (what cancer - grade if you wish / stage ditto):
I had a K in my left breast, grade 3
When was it discovered? How old were you ?
I discovered my K at the age of 25, it was in November 2008.
Under what circumstances was it discovered?
Following a difficult romantic breakup, I refocused on myself and decided to listen more to my instincts... A few weeks after the painful separation I felt changes in my body, and despite the reassuring words of my doctor and the soothing results of the blood tests, I knew something was up... and one day, while I was in front of my mirror I said to myself: “Oriane feel your breasts”
And that’s the first time I met “my little ball”.
If you are currently undergoing treatment, or in remission (for how long?)
I have been in remission for almost 8 years!
Can you summarize your (K fighter) story for us ?
Following the discovery of “the intruder” or “my little ball” as I liked to call it, I made all the necessary appointments... And I armed myself with the only massive weapon that I knew: love! I wasn't going to let this damn illness take away my joy of life! I was living with my parents again at that time. So I went through chemo, operations and radiotherapy accompanied by my friends, my parents, my little sister and a few lovers. From the discovery of K to the announcement of remission it lasted 9 months. The time of a pregnancy. I like this parallel.
During these 9 months I experienced unforgettable moments, of happiness and sometimes fear, especially after the last chemo session. What will happen to me next? The story ends with a huge party organized by my parents, with a rock concert and petit fours, almost like a wedding. I like this parallel too.
What treatment did you have?
I experienced 6 sessions of Taxotere, 1 month of radiotherapy at a rate of 5 sessions per week.
Regarding operations I had a Tumorectomy and removal of lymph nodes on the left side. I stayed 4/5 days in the hospital each time, I think I was allowed to go out before, but I really liked being pampered by the adorable nurses!
What tips directly related to K do you want to share?
(your feeling with the doctor, your good treatment organization plans, anything that seems useful to you ;))?
1/ chemo and radiotherapy:
The best defenses against the effects of chemo for me were two quite different things: first letting myself become a baby again, in the fetal position in my bed and my mother taking care of me for the 3 days that followed, and then to go to my nurse who also practiced a technique called RESC (a kind of acupuncture without the needles) which got me back on my feet straight away!
For radiotherapy, it was having an extraordinary taxi driver who made these daily trips an adventure!
How did you live the day before, the day itself, the days after chemo?
and what were your tips?
The day before chemo, I left the house to meet friends and/or lovers. I laughed loudly and talked about everything except the illness. I ate in good restaurants, I drank good wine, I had fun!
The same day I met wonderful people, caring nurses, a nurse with whom I flirted a little... So my tip was to be fully part of the living.
What did you do to clear your mind/clear your head (before chemo, surgery & co)?
Remaining a complete woman has been one of the priorities for me and in my case it is being pampered that has helped me the most! When you have cancer at such a young age, people's eyes are soft and warm. And this offers a possibility to experience exactly what we want to experience, without being judged! So yes, I cleared my head!
My best friend takes me to scream at the top of my lungs on the seaside to relieve tension. We made ourselves beautiful... We walked everywhere all the time. I spent sleepless nights dreaming, remaking the world, accompanied or alone, with music in my ears.
Music is a great way to anchor emotions.
What practical “well-being/beauty” tips can you advise us?
1/ beauty:
I remember going to the beautician from time to time for a Clarins moisturizing facial treatment, scalp massages by the caring little hands of my friends. After the hair loss, it pulled from time to time...
I put on nail polish, I did makeup on my eyes, my mouth.
Chemotherapy dries out the skin quite a bit, so a good daily moisturizer was essential.
Organic aloe vera I recommend!
I also remember drawing my eyebrows which were getting thinner over time. Beautiful eyebrows mean continuing to express yourself through your eyes!
2/ look:
In terms of looks, it was either big, cozy pajamas for the “fetus” days as I called them... Those days of sleeping 23 hours a day after chemo...
Or pretty, very feminine outfits to go on romantic wanderings and trips with my friends!
3/ daily (e.g. sport, food & co, meditation, reading, etc.)
I didn't read much during that period and I admit I didn't pay attention to what I ate... I felt like a pregnant woman, I had cravings! And my parents, extraordinary people, did their best to keep up!
No sport either... But I was running everywhere!
On the other hand, today I have radically changed the way I eat. Today I like reading Professor Joyeux's works, and I have become vegan. I deeply believe that certain foods promote better health and that certain others increase the risk of cancer...
4/ hair problem (eg: did you wear a wig, scarves, hats)
I wore different wigs depending on the inspiration of the moment! So there were brunette days, blonde days, Dalida days and tomboy days!
When I stayed at home I preferred to wear a silk scarf that my mother had bought for me specially. It was sweet. And on winter nights I wore a woolen hat because I was cold all over my head!
Were you concerned about the views of others, were you afraid that their views would change? What did you do to counter it?
I was never afraid of being looked at by others during my K. But yes, it has changed a little. To become more generous and more caring than ever.
What are the “nugget”/footed phrases (that you remember) that someone said to you during K and that you could have avoided?
It wasn't during my K that I heard "feet in the flat" phrases, it was rather once I was in remission... People are sometimes clumsy... Because first of all, they do what that they can, and then this subject is often painful for them too. So it’s more today, in moments of “checks” that I hear: “Phew! It's okay, you have nothing left, because of you I didn't sleep all night..." following the wait for the MRI results for example. Or again, again while waiting for the results of a control biopsy: “Your little ball really pissed me off”
But the most difficult words for me were the ones that weren't said: not talking about my cancer at all during the two years following my remission, pretending like nothing happened. had not arrived. It's feeling that the subject is taboo, that it hurts.
While I had experienced this K in a particularly positive way, psychologically speaking, I found myself a little lost afterwards. During these two years I understood the discomfort and the need of those around me to forget this ordeal. And yet I think that this period could have been less sad if speech had been freed.
Otherwise it's more the wonderfully funny phrases from my best friend that I remember. Notably:
“I'll hold your wig while you vomit” or “Oh Oriane... it's not like you have a... uh...”
How did your loved ones support you?
My loved ones remained “closer” than ever! And it’s thanks to them that I got through this ordeal so well! They helped me. But I believe that I also helped them, a little, in my own way to cope better with this ordeal... I had entrusted the management of administrative papers (social security in particular) to my father. I asked my mother to take care of me when I was no longer able to go to the bathroom alone, for example. And my sister... she took care of my parents! ;)
I really believe that giving our loved ones tasks helps them feel useful, and know exactly what they can do. It's such a scary time for them too, that it's better that everyone knows how they can be there.
And what advice could you give to loved ones who accompany a K fighter?
To avoid feeling helpless, you must simply ask the sick person what they need. Eat? Drink? Talk? Do not speak? Just stay there?
I don't believe you can anticipate the needs of a sick person, I think you just need to have an open mind and make suggestions!
I also think that being a “helper” is a hell of a job. And to be able to keep going, you have to know how to make time for yourself. Breathe. Experiencing things outside of illness.
In reality, a person with cancer and the people who support them need the same things. Attention, love and moments of rest.
Do you find out about K on the internet?
At the time, I didn't really do any research on the subject to be honest. I stayed away from the medical aspect of my illness. On the other hand, today, I wrote a play about my experience. So I did some research on the internet, especially the forums... How other women experienced their breast K...
What has the K changed in your life…?
(for example: your vision of the world, your priorities, your essentials, refocusing those around you, in your work, your philosophy..?)
Almost everything has changed in my life. I live today with more respect for myself, I learned to be proud of who I was! I tell people that I love them even more. I often feel like I'm on vacation, even though I'm not. I get even more excited about little things than before.
At the time I was a real estate agent, it didn't suit me. “My little ball” opened my eyes to what I was destined to be: a sex therapist and couples therapist. Allow people to regain self-confidence, supporting them towards a harmonious and fulfilling life. This same life that damn K managed to give me!
Free field ;)
tell us what you want (which might not be in my questions):
I want to talk here about a project that is very close to my heart. That of the dramatic comedy Crisis Cell , which I wrote with a friend, Valère. It is performed by three talented professional actresses, and it is produced and broadcast by the Aparté association .
Here is the summary of the piece: “Imagine three women, three childhood friends, three versions of life. Jeanne loves charlotte, the cake. She has a minister's schedule. Louise feeds all the neighborhood cats and purrs like them when her lover calls her on the phone. Emma has cancer. So. It's like that. As brutal as that. And now what do we do? Well we live. Because life is now!”
It is a project that was born from my desire to share my experience, to free certain taboos and from my love for “live performance”. Because in this expression there is the word “alive”!
It's a play that talks, with simplicity and humor, about breast cancer, children, pastries, sex and friendship, in short, about life!
See you on December 3 in Aix en Provence, to discover it, here.
You can find the performance dates on the Facebook page “Crisis Cell” or by going to the website of the Aparté association (associationlaparte.wordpress.com/creation-theatrale-cellule-de-crise)
Cancer is not just a disease. It is a question about the future.
=> to follow Crisis Unit, go to:
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Thank you Oriane, for this beautiful testimony full of life.
You can leave comments for Oriane below.
If like her, you want to tell your story, your projects and share your tips, go here , send me your questionnaire and 1 photo of yourself so that I can draw you ;) to: interview@mister-k-fighting-kit.com
*Many of you send me your testimonies, thank you for your precious trust, for this same reason, the broadcasts of your interviews will sometimes be broadcast in several months, but know that I keep and transmit absolutely ALL the testimonies that are sent to me , Thank you for understanding.
Please note that I do not retouch any Interview, they are completely free, it is your freedom, your story, I just add my personal touch with the illustration, they are delivered as they were sent to me ;)
NEVER GIVE UP!!
Charlotte
