ITW n°79: Elodie - close to K fighter.
today the beautiful Elodie, 28 years old, testifies with an open heart, she has accompanied her mother Nicole since July 2016 in her treatments against a K of the Breast. Because the lives of loved ones are also turned upside down during this tsunami of K, Elodie speaks to show us how being united is essential during the battle. Very close to her mother, she has accompanied her step by step since the first day, despite her pregnancy, a beautiful and moving lesson in love from a daughter with her mother.
(testimony sent on August 30, 2016)
Let's get started:
Who are you ?
First name: Elodie
Age: 28 years old
Where do you live: In Ajaccio
Why do you agree to share your story today?
For my mother but also for all the people who are affected directly or indirectly by this disease
What are your qualities (in a few words)?
I am kind, caring, attentive
What are your passions (in a few words)?
I have no particular passions
What is your bond with Nicole?
It's my mother
Can you summarize your story for us (announcement / under what circumstances)?
It was Tuesday, May 17, 2016, we left for Nice to have a mamotome, then the results shortly after the gynecologist told us that there was a small breast cancer followed by a sentinel lymph node operation which was healthy but there is another one wandering around.. We start chemotherapy straight away on July 26 and we are in the middle of it, it's hard but my mother is holding on, we have to because a month before we learned of my pregnancy . We are torn between the joy of the arrival of this baby and the fatigue and side effects of chemotherapy, most often it is the baby who wins 😉
What K did Nicole get?
What treatments does she have?
chemo: if you know: name of cocktails
There are 6 chemotherapy sessions, 3 FEC it seems to me and the other 3 I don't remember the name but the oncologist said it was less strong..
radiotherapy: if you know:
Yes there will also be radiotherapy
operation if you know:
Sentinel lymph node surgery
What was your feeling/point of view as a loved one when the announcement was made?
It's my mother, so devastated, but strangely it came after the first reaction was "it's okay we're going to fight, we're not the only ones and it's well taken care of" and then we say to ourselves when they are ours and well they are different, the fear of losing her, fear that she will not see her little son grow up, of not having the strength she would like to keep him, the heartbreak of seeing her cry ...And then we regain strength and courage and we continue.
What are the “nugget”/feeling phrases that someone said to him or/and to you during the K and which could have been avoided? or that you yourself should have avoided ;)..?
Honestly, none at the moment. Or maybe when my mother talks with her sister-in-law and she says chemotherapy is hard and everything and she says "I'm tired too, I couldn't do my housework" 😂 that makes us laugh ( It would be better)
Your questions, your fears, the sentences you would have liked to ask but which you did not dare to mention..?
I talk about everything with my mother, no taboos.
What are you doing to change Nicole's mind, can you find the right words, activities to change her mind?
We go up to the village to my aunt's house, she is well surrounded, she goes down every morning on foot to the "neighborhood" at the Piazzetta for x years where she meets everyone. After the fatigue of chemotherapy, this is what she looks forward to the most. Afterwards we go out, with the heat it's not easy.
How was your life in the medical profession?
Did you find the answers you were looking for, did you manage to understand everything?
The oncologist is really great, he explained everything to us well, the nurses are there as well as the gynecologist.
Has this same medical body been there for you too, to support you, answer all your questions?
I am not present for the chemotherapy sessions, it is my aunt who accompanies her, my mother does not want to because of my pregnancy. We support each other as much as possible.
Do you accompany your Mom to:
- his doctors' appointments?
- his chemos
- others ?
I went to appointments with the oncologist, the gynecologist, if there is an appointment I am there, except for chemo
What was your first feeling when you first met the treatments (chemotherapy/hospital)?
The first chemo the effects we feared and we made do with it, rest of the fresh and the presence
How did you deal with Nicole's mood swings?
She doesn't have that much, but she has quite a character so I'm used to it 😅
Do you get information on the internet?
Yes on the side effects..
IF YES: What would be the useful (internet) links that help you to give you strength, and those to recommend to relatives of K fighters or to K fighters?
Oops I don't remember at all it was for the hot flashes
What are your good plans to take your mind off things, get some fresh air, and recharge your batteries?
What are your best resources?
My pregnancy, my partner currently lives on the continent so I go away quite often, it allows me to breathe and go shopping especially for my mother
What do you tell yourself to go the distance / what do you do?
It's going to be okay, she needs to get better, she's going to be a grandmother!!!
Are you able to have an “Almost” normal life, seeing your friends/relatives?
I don't have any close friends, I'm not complaining about that at all. I have my family, my pregnancy, my partner, that's enough for me.
We have a normal life, we go out, eat, drink, go shopping etc.
In your daily life, are you able to escape from the “illness” to move forward and be productive?
I'm moving forward with my mom's illness, she's part of us now
Are you able to talk freely about it to your loved ones?
Do you feel supported/supported/understood?
We always don't talk about it for hours, but we do talk about it, it shows, we know it.
What do you think you did wrong, or said? What reaction do you regret?
None, my mother will let me know.
What advice would you give to other loved ones to arm themselves with strength?
To be united, to love support
Your list of essentials for support in the hospital or during chemotherapy:
My mother takes her word search
What practical tips can you recommend to us, from your daily life and yours?
My mom puts sweet almond oil on her scalp and lots of cream to moisturize (also found in the Face & Body kit, here)
She always tries to match her scarves to her outfit
3/ food (do you prepare good dishes for him)
As soon as she can, she takes up the torch.. Cleaning, laundry, cooking...
Do you know what to offer/bring to Nicole, to give her your support, and feel useful?
What she wants
Did the K war change your view of Nicole?
I know that my mother is a fighter, with quite a character.
What has the K changed in your life...?
Yes, it has changed things in terms of my old friends, and people in general... We are vulnerable, so personally my old friends have left my life and that doesn't bother me at all.
Free field ;)
tell us what you want (which might not be in my questions):
I think I have told you everything, delivered everything
Thank you Elodie, we send you both a lot of strength.
*Many of you send me your testimonies, thank you for your precious trust, for this same reason, the broadcasts of your interviews will sometimes be broadcast in several months, but know that I keep and transmit absolutely ALL the testimonies that are sent to me , Thank you for understanding.
Please note that I do not retouch any Interview, they are completely free, it is your freedom, your story, I just add my personal touch with the illustration, they are delivered as they were sent to me ;)
NEVER GIVE UP!!